How We’re Making the Holidays Magical: 26 Easy Ideas for Families to Connect from a Distance

Passover, Eid, Diwali, Thanksgiving, Christmas. The holidays in 2020 have taken a hit.

Although we can’t be together with family, this year we’re reimagining our holiday traditions. And we have a lot of traditions. As a family, we’ve incorporated traditions from places we’ve lived and people we’ve loved, using our holiday traditions to form a strong family culture.

Spin the globe and you’ll probably land on a spot a family member or friend lives in. Photo by La Victorie on Unsplash

When it’s not 2020, we spend months planning our holidays, building time for the cousins to maintain their friendships and for us to reinforce our family’s unique culture. We live on opposite ends of the earth (quite literally: the Midwest, Europe and Southeast Asia!), so our planning involves aligning flights, international vacation rentals, and figuring out how to order gifts for the kids in different countries.

This year, of course, is different. We won’t be traveling to see each other, and even the two branches of the family that live within driving distance of each other will be celebrating virtually.

So how do we keep our holiday traditions alive? How do we embrace the opportunity that this year is giving in order to create new traditions? How do we offer authentic opportunities for the cousins to connect and interact? And can we make the holidays in any way even better than they always are?

This year, we’ve come up with a plan of shared activities that the kids (and adults!) can do together… apart. Since many families are making new traditions this year, we wanted to share our ideas in case they inspire anyone else.

We have a few more constraints than a lot of families: because of the 14-hour time difference between cousins, we couldn’t plan too many ‘live’ events via FaceTime or Zoom. Also, our kids are young and loud and have diminishing interest in video chats. Because of the weather in equatorial Southeast Asia, we couldn’t plan shared activities that rely on snow or cold weather. Also, we’re busy and don’t have a lot of time to find unusual craft or baking goods or to set up elaborate activities, so things have to be easy. And, of course, because of Covid we couldn’t plan activities that include other people outside of our households.

But here’s what we can do: we can help our kids connect without presents or candy and we can strengthen bonds. Best of all, this year we can include lots of other families, friends, and cousins who we don’t normally get to celebrate with.

First, some logistics.

Step one: Set up a shared digital photo/video album for the season. We’ll invite all of the cousins who are participating and also grandparents and uncles/aunts who want to be part of the fun.

Step two: Brainstorm activities with the kids to add to the list below. Get their engagement and enjoy laughing at the things you try that don’t work. Zoom Pictionary, anyone?

Step three: Have the kids pick activities from each category and share pictures and videos via the album. We’re going to try to have the kids do the same activities on the same day, and we’ll see how that works out… We’ll have contests and captions and hopefully all have a different kind of holiday fun.

We’re hoping the holidays can be a chance to get comfortable, get cozy, and enjoy the season. Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

Cozy Christmas Cheer

• Watch a favorite holiday movie. Draw a picture or say a favorite line or act out a scene and see if the cousins can guess the movie!
• Drink hot (or iced) cocoa in front of the fire. For those who don’t have a fireplace (or who live near the Equator), bring on the YouTube yule log! Share pictures of you being cozy on the couch in your holiday PJs!
• Arrange a JingleRing time that works across time zones and have the cousins call Santa together. Even better, support a small business and Zoom with Santa!
• Have a cookie decorating party and share pictures of your favorite creations.
• Read a holiday story aloud live with cousins via video call or record readings for repeated replay. This is a great way to include adults living separately and to introduce new stories to the kids.
• Get some different kinds of hot cocoa ingredients and toppings and have a hot cocoa taste test. Don’t forget the marshmallows! Do you prefer milk chocolate mix? Dark chocolate mix? Cocoa-powder? Chocolate melted in hot milk? A combination…? Share your favorites!
• Go on a holiday walk through the neighborhood and share pictures of what you noticed. What kinds of holiday decorations, holiday-inspired wildlife, or fun outfits can you find?
• During the lead-up to the holidays, have family members write down things they’re grateful for on slips of paper. Or use a shared document. During a family video call, or any time someone is feeling down, open the jars and each family shares what they’ve written down.
• Video the grown ups telling funny stories from their childhood holidays.

Creative Cousins

• Read or act out Christmas stories and share videos of the performance with each other.
• Have the kids create a connect-the-dots, word search, or coloring page for their cousins and share the picture. Print the activity on the other side of the world and post a picture of the final result!

Our creative cousins ideas don’t require many supplies or much time to set up. Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

• Practice a holiday song (playing on the piano, singing, dancing to, etc) and perform on video. Create an asynchronous family sing-along!
• Create a holiday story together and share a recording of it being told or read aloud.
• The kids come up with a scavenger hunt and play “find the (holiday) object in your house” via FaceTime/Zoom. We’ll probably get the kids started with some clues like: find something red! Find something green! Find something sparkly! Find something cold!
• Have an ornament making contest using supplies from around the house. For the adults, see who can make the most 2020 holiday ornament. (Pro tip: look up pumpkins for inspo!)
• Put the phone or camera somewhere out of the way with a good view of the action, set up a video link, and turn the volume down. Just be together while you make dinner, trim the tree, or argue about the rules to a board game.
• Make a time lapse video of a holiday dance party, assembling a puzzle, or making a holiday treat.

Community Comfort

(Check local resources for Covid-safe opportunities in your area.)

• Adopt a child or family’s Christmas list. Have the kids pick out gifts.

When we’re feeling isolated and alone, reaching out to help those in our community helps us feel more connected. Photo by Mathew Schwartz on Unsplash

• Write thank you notes for essential workers in your community.
• Write letters or holiday cards to family members we can’t be together with.
• Write notes or draw cards for those who will be receiving donated meals.
• Do a trash pick up in your community.
• Make cards for a local senior citizen home.
• Make cards or door hangers for your neighbors and deliver them (contactless) to add some holiday cheer.
• Choose an organization’s charity wishlist and pack items in a box/basket for donation. If possible, the kids ride along when the box is delivered (contactless delivery).
• Make games for seniors. Local cousins make and deliver the game(s). Geographically distant cousins make a video explaining the rules.

How will you be reimagining your holidays this year?

Nicole Hepner is a parent and health care design researcher focused on vulnerable populations.

Stephanie Hepner is a parent and international school educator committed to equity in education.